Random

I'm tired of using color so I am not going to on this post.  I hate not having pictures but blogger is not letting me upload any today and I am losing my patience. I feel like my healing progress has plateaued, with the exception of my ability to be vertical for longer periods of time.  I am supposed to work on Monday but we will see I guess. At this point, it's difficult to imagine.

JG's parents leave this afternoon and I am not going to lie...I am scared.  My Aunt will be here tomorrow but I am not sure how long and then that is it as far as help goes.  My only helper will be JG.  I love you dear but helping with the babe and housework is not your biggest strength.  Not even close. 

I had big plans for when I was laid up.  But really, when you do not feel well, it just becomes about surviving.  Plans go out the window.  I pretty much just sit here and think much of the time.  So here is what I have been thinking about:

• how i wish i was a stay at home mom.  i have loved being able to see all of ellie's changes as they occur. and being here when she wakes up from each nap. it is my favorite.
• how i love being at home.  this is day number 5 and i have yet to tire of it.
• i've decided capital letters are for the birds.
• when ellie is a little bigger i will make her a picture journal that she can paste magazine clippings in.
• i miss my brother.
• i miss shannon. 
• it bugs me that the doors upstairs don't match.
• i need to order ellie some new sleepers.
• i love fall.
• i need to have a date night with jg when i am feeling better.  we really need it.
• the master bathroom is disgusting. yup, that's all you jg.
• i wish my sister-in-law lived here. love you gina. and zambon and abby and britt.
• my bedroom really needs to be dusted.
• pretty sure i should use that 20% off coupon from j-crew.  or else that would be a catastrophic waste.
• i hate regrets. and i hate myself for doing things that i regret.
• marriage is hard work. sometimes it is really really hard work.
• i am the luckiest person alive to have been given ellie.and i feel it. through and through.
• i don't want amandi to move away. at all.
• having to be still forces me to reflect.
• i really do not like watching t.v. it bores me.
• i wish someone would teach me to use my sewing machine.
• i want to build a simpler life for our little family.