Jello On A Plate

Ellie and I after our all day outing.  Ellie is wearing her outfit from Abby (sorry, I will get a full body shot of it later) and her headband made by Desi. XOXO to you both, she received tons of compliments on her stylish look!

Ellie had her 3rd appointment with the doctor yesterday and has been cleared to be seen in 2 weeks rather than every week, which is a small victory for her.  She is almost 9 lbs so her weight gain is becoming more consistent and she is finally alert.  Since I had to take her out anyway, we stopped at the court to do paperwork, at work to have lunch, and at DHS so everyone could love on her.  It made the day go by quickly and I even was able to sleep a few hours before I had to get up with her this morning.

The stress of the adoption continues to weigh heavily on us and I will be relieved when it is over.  I feel I have to make decisions I do not agree with, simply out of fear.  Which for anyone who knows me, knows that this is not at all my style. To say that the adoption process has pushed me out of my comfort zone is an understatement.  Especially given that it was not a pursued/planned adoption on our part, leaving us without an agency to go through and an adoption worker to serve as a mediator between us and the birth family.  There are no boundaries in place.  Whenever I attempt to establish some I end up feeling as if I have taken three steps forward and five backwards.  It is emotionally draining and I am not accustomed to having little control over who I chose to be part of my personal life.

JG and I continue to adjust to life as parents.  It is trying at times and our different personalities manifest in our parenting.  I care for Ellie based on what feels right to me at the time, JG watches the videos from service providers and uses the "skills" (as he refers to them, ha ha) he has learned from the videos. "Jello on a plate, Jen, jello on a plate" (a technique he learned in one of the videos that I am beginning to think he just likes to say because it sounds funny).   This is congruent with who we are, given that I make decisions based on how I feel and JG makes them based on logic.  I am much more patient and will attempt to soothe Ellie for hours, JG gives up pretty quickly if his skill base fails to get the job done. He woke me up at 1:30 a.m. this morning to get up for the day with Ellie.  This was our conversation:

JG: "Jen, you need to get up now with Ellie."

Me: "o.k., when did she eat and have her last diaper change?"

JG: "Midnight.  She is posessed tonight."

Me: "What are you talking about?"

JG: "She is seriously like possessed tonight.  I'm going to bed.  She is the devil, I swear."

Cutest little devil in the MQT if you ask me:)