Crying Myself A River

Ellie and JG napping

Ellie's chubby cheeks

I'm falling behind in blogging and pretty much all areas of life again.  Ellie has had a tough time adjusting to my return to work; she saves up her fussiness and refusal to sleep for me when I walk in the door at the end of the day.  I'm continuing to learn what is working for us and what is not.  The long days are not working for us.  My mom was here to help for a few days this week which was wonderful.  I actually got a teeny bit of sleep.  I made it through the trial without having to testify which was really good. 

Yesterday I was a mess. I cried 3 different times yesterday over pretty much nothing and everything at the same time.   I was offered a part-time position at work as a supervisor and I really want to take it because it will allow me a little more financial padding if my clients do not show but JG is not in favor of it so I have not accepted the position yet.  I feel it would give me the luxury of having shorter days and it is only temporary so I really want to take it.   I was feeling guilty for being away from Ellie and blaming myself for her little backslide the last week.  I was pissed off at my clients for continuously being late or not showing for their appointments because it forced me to haul Ellie to work in a snow storm for no beneficial reason.  So I cried on the way to work, cried on the way back home to pick up Ellie, and cried at work when someone asked me about daycare.  I guess it is not too bad considering I am sleep deprived and stressed out but I am not a very emotional person so it was uncharacteristic of me.  In retrospect, I do not know how JG did not laugh at me on the phone when I was crying and going on and on about how many things I suck at right now.  Ah well. Moving on.

I am off now for the rest of the week.  Well, kind of. I have to go into work with Ellie either tonight or tomorrow to schedule more clients for the upcoming week.   I was supposed to go this afternoon but Ellie has been sleeping and I do not want to disturb her.  I am so looking forward to being with her and having a the weekend to unwind.  I might even get something done for once! Well, Ellie is starting to make her animal noises, indicating to me she is awake and I can smell her from here so I had better go.