Rewind

Auntie Mandi with Ellie; on the phone with Zambon trying to make her jealous enough to come back to us.

Harv eating at craft night

Britt making dip for craft night

Auntie Britt with Ellie

Obviously I did not blog this week; I will try harder next week.  Going back to work was rough.  Monday I was a mess but the rest of the week I did fine.  JG's parents were here to watch Ellie, which was helpful. I am not really sure whether being gone impacted Ellie much or not.  But I had craft night at my house last night and I swear she was punishing me for having been gone from her.  She sure put me in my place.  She seriously slept for 3 hours yesterday and that was it. The rest of the evening she was a fussy puddle. I was not able to make anything but I did enjoy the company. 

I am still in search of some sort of routine.  Ellie is nowhere near being on a schedule, which is fine, but JG and I need one.  With my new work situation it is really difficult not to accommodate clients when it comes to scheduling, given that if I choose not to, I am out money.  I did have 5 cancellations this past week but did better than the week before Ellie was born so I guess I can consider it to be progress.  I need to put into place some set hours though, because I end up working 12 hour days with no clients in the middle of the day, as a result of failing to set hours.  So my goal for the weekend is to figure out a routine for work and home. 

I will be honest, the whole working with a 7 week old thing is really tough.  It was difficult with help so I cannot imagine what it will be like without.  I have never experienced so many feelings of inadequacy in my life.  I feel badly if I am not spending every minute with Ellie when I am home, but then feel chaotic if I do not do the things I need to around the house because I am loving on Ellie.  I know it is about finding a balance but it is much easier said than done. I will get there eventually.

JG and I went out to dinner on Thursday night.  It was really nice to spend some time together and to be able to talk.  I feel like the only subjects we communicate about are Ellie, our schedules, work, and money. I could tell that JG appreciated it a lot, even if I was reluctant to spend more time away from home than I already had to.  We were able to talk about fun stuff for a change and have a conversation that lasted longer than 2 minutes.

I am not too sure about my plans for tomorrow. I am guessing it will be an errand running day but who knows.  Maybe I will be able to get something done around here.  Then again, maybe not.  Either way I will report back later.  Promise.

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