Unintentional Prayers

Oh Monday.  I now compare this day of the week to the start of a race and a whole lot of prayer.  I am not a religious person but find myself unintentionally praying a lot since Ellie arrived.  "Please God let her sleep, let me hold my pee just a little longer, let my back stop hurting and my feet stop cracking, please make her be happy." And now that Monday is again upon us, "please God let this week be easier than the last."

I am home for most of the day today.  I have to work at 4 but given the short overlap in our schedules, I will tote Ellie to work with me and JG will pick her up there.  He is off tomorrow so I am working a full day and he is staying home.  It will be the first time he has been in charge of Ellie for more than a few hours without help.  I do not think he knows what he is in for and I am worried, given they are like oil and water together.

I did end up making the two meals I planned yesterday and have already planned our dinner tonight (yeah for me).  I did not leave the house as I was hoping because Ellie and I fell asleep for the entire afternoon.  When we awoke, JG needed to do our taxes, so that trumped anything I wanted to do for a while. 

I posted some pics of Zambon visiting with Ellie.  When she first met Ellie, she started crying. I asked if her she was crying because she doesn't live here anymore and is sad.  She replied, "no, I am just so happy you finally have your baby."  In that moment I was again take back to the losses I had once felt and reminded how lucky I am (even in the throw of multiple insignficant daily prayers, lol) to have been given Ellie.  Had I not lost a little one this summer, I would have never been in a position to take Ellie. It made me realize again why our friends are so important on this journey; they are there for the ups and the downs that make the events in our lives so much richer.  And of course, to make us remember; to tug our hearts a little so we recall just how far we have come.   

On a lighter note, it is super sunny out today and it makes me beyond happy.  I am getting better at balancing our family life and that also makes me happy.  Ellie is a happy sleeping baby right now; that makes me absolutely thrilled. So even if Monday is...well, Monday, I am feeling elated regardless.